A Year without you
It’s been a year since you left. A year of birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, of events I no longer get to share with you.
A year of daily pain, second guesses, only ifs, masking smiles and carrying on.
A year where every happy moment is muted, every decision done in a fog of sadness.
A year of questions without answers, of conversations with no responses.
A year of waiting for all the emotions to pass only to realize they do not.
Loss is a burden on the living. It never gets easier or better, you only get further from the loss.
Over time the painful memories turn to the memories that make you smile.
The missed birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and events no longer shared begin to stack up. They pile up and eventually you lose count. Memories become entangled but the pain remains. The scar tissue stays sensitive but closed. The scar becomes part of you, something barely noticeable to others but a constant reminder to you. Your smile and laughter are never the same.
I miss you my beautiful ballerina. Life goes on without you, but with a little less light, a little less love.
Until we meet again, I love you.
You can see all my writings, podcasts and stories at https://jenniferellenparker.substack.com/s/weekly-wisdom-from-the-impolite-canadian